What If?
by MissyMo2005
Summary: What if it had been Fitz who'd found Mellie after her attempted suicide rather than Andrew? How might things have been different?
1. Chapter 1

_Not really sure how I feel about this one. Just an idea I had floating around in my head. I haven't actually caught up on the new series of Scandal so apologies if I've missed anything major that's happened recently! _

Fitz suppressed a yawn as he finally made his way inside the house late that evening. It was silent inside the house, everywhere in total darkness. He wasn't exactly surprised, Mellie hardly ever bothered to wait up for him anymore and she hadn't been expecting him home that was definitely something going on with her, she cringed away from him every time he touched her and she'd barely said two words to him in weeks, he knew he should've spoken to her. If he was honest he was putting off dealing with whatever it was she had going on, in the hope that it might just resolve itself. He just didn't have the energy to deal with whatever it was- he was so busy with the campaign to become president it was just easier to ignore it.

He glanced at the clock quickly before heading in to his office, where there was still a light on. It struck him as a little odd that it was the only light in the house that was on- especially given the fact Mellie rarely ventured in there any more and he'd thought his father was out of town.

As he pushed the door open and stepped inside his blood ran cold. Mellie was lying face down on the floor in front of his desk, unmoving, "Mellie!" He dropped his coat and on the floor and raced over to her. As he crouched down beside her he spotted the yellow container in her hand, now entirely empty. "Mellie!" He tried again, shaking her in an attempt to get some kind of response.

He felt the relief flood through him as he heard Mellie mumble something. Pulling his cell phone out of his pocket he quickly dialled 911. His Father would be far from happy if the media caught wind of this but he'd have to deal with that when the time came.

He was still struggling to comprehend the fact that this had been a deliberate act. The thought of what might've happened tonight had he been away from home as he should've done didn't bear taking about.

"Mmmm... Jerry.. No.. Stop." His breath caught in his throat as Mellie began to mumble again. "Jerry... No... No..."

Her fingers tightened around his own. "Just hang on Mel's. The ambulance will be here soon." As if his prayers had been answered there was the sound of voices in the hallway. "In here!" He yelled, and the two paramedics appeared in the doorway and quickly began to tend to his wife. He quickly found himself pushed to one side, watching in shock as his wife was scooped on to a stretcher and taken out to the waiting ambulance as he followed closely behind.

After they reached the ER and Fitz was shown through to a waiting area, despite his repeated attempts to go with his wife, the time seemed to stretch on for an eternity, around an hour after they'd arrived Cyrus had shown up. He briefly wondered how Cyrus had even found out what had happened, but then quickly realised he didn't care.

"This is just fantastic." Cyrus muttered under his breath as he paced back and forth across the room. "If the press finds out about this-"

"Shut up!" Fitz yelled, finally managing to get Cyrus to stop talking. "Just shut up! My wife has just tried to kill herself! Do you honestly think I give a crap about the press and what they think?!"

Cyrus was silent for a moment before he recollected himself. "With all due respect I don't think your father would approve of-"

Fitz laughed sarcastically. "Of course he wouldn't approve. He wants his Son to become the president of the United States. It's all he's ever cared about and he's not going to be happy until he has what he wants. That doesn't mean I have to obey his every instruction!"

"If you want my opinion-" Cyrus said hesitantly.

"Of course I don't want your bloody opinion! Why are you even here? Just go and do whatever the hell it is you do and leave me alone." Fitz shot back at him angrily.

Cyrus took a step towards the door, then stopped abruptly as a doctor walked in. "Mr Grant?"

Fitz nodded, jumping to his feet. "How is she?"

The doctor cast a quick glance in Cyrus' direction before turning his attention back to Fitz. "Physically, Mrs Grant will be fine. We pumped her stomach, but there should be no lasting damage. She was incredibly lucky you found her when you did." The doctor paused for a moment, as though he was trying to find the right words. "I'm much more concerned about her state of mind. Do you know what might have caused this?"

Fitz shook his head. "Can I see her?" He'd spent weeks ignoring whatever it was that had been bothering Mellie because it was more convenient for him than actually having to deal with it. The guilt over what had happened was starting to set in.

"Of course." The doctor said with a small smile. "Follow me."


	2. Chapter 2

_Sorry guys, I made a bit of an error and only posted half of the chapter. I've fixed it now, so I hope you enjoy :)_

"She might take a while to come around." The doctor explained, stopping outside the door to Mellie's room. "I would expect she'll be quite groggy for a while when she does."

Fitz nodded, stepping towards the door. "Thanks."

The doctor nodded. "I'll be back to check on her later." He said, and then disappeared down the corridor.

As Fitz stepped in to the room, the thing that struck him was how peaceful his wife looked. The deep frown, that had become a permanent fixture on her face was gone, making her look years younger. It struck him that she looked much more like the woman he'd married than she had done in a long time. He walked over to the bed and sat down in the chair beside it, gently linking his fingers with hers. He struggled to suppress a yawn as the events of the day finally started to catch up with him.

The thing he couldn't get out of his mind- what might've happened if he'd stuck go his original plan that night and not come home? The thought made his stomach churn again as he looked back to Mellie who was sleeping peacefully. He had so many questions for her, but they would have to wait. He leant his head back against the chair and allowed his eyes to droop closed for a moment.

* * *

"No! Jerry, get off me!" Fitz's eyes flew open at the sound of his wife mumbling in her sleep once again, a deep frown etched in to her forehead.

"Mellie." He shook her gently in an attempt to wake her up.

"No... Please..." She mumbled.

"Mellie." He shook her a little harder, and this time her eyes flew open. He watched as a look of confusion crossed her face as her eyes scanned the room. He could've sworn he saw a look of something close to disappointment flicker across her face. It passed so quickly he couldn't be sure if he'd imagined it or not.

"What happened?" She asked quietly, relaxing back against the pillows. She focused on the bed sheets, anything to avoid the look Fitz was giving her.

"Don't you think I should be asking you that?" He asked. "Are things really that bad?"

Mellie shrugged, picking at a loose thread on the blanket. "Sometimes it seems that way." She mumbled.

He reached for her hand again, but she moved it just out of his reach. "What happened Mellie?" He asked again, in desperate need of some answers which might help him to make some sense of everything had happened.

"Can we go home?" She asked hopefully, ignoring his question entirely.

"I don't know." He sighed, removing his hand from where it had been resting on the edge of the bed and rubbing at his forehead as though he might be able to will away his headache. He wasn't entirely sure he was ready to take Mellie home, not that he was even sure the doctors would allow it. If he'd missed all of the signs once, what was to say he wouldn't miss them again? And they might not be so lucky the next time.

The thought sent a shiver up his spine- it still hadn't sunk in.

"Please Fitz." Mellie pleaded.

"Do you not think we need to talk about this?" He asked, trying hard to keep the anger out of his voice. How on earth could she act as though there was nothing the slightest bit strange about the situation?

"We can talk about it later if we must." She said dismissively. "We need to get out of here before the press gets wind of this."

"How can you possibly be thinking about the press?!" Fitz demanded, unable to believe the words that had come out of his wife's mouth. "I don't give a crap what the press think!"

"You might not, but I do! This could seriously damage your chances of becoming president!" She snapped back at him.

"Well excuse me for being more concerned with the fact my wife tried to kill herself than what this will do to my chances of being elected!"

"Maybe you don't give a crap Fitz but I do!" She hissed angrily.

"Why is all of this so important to you?" Fitz asked quietly. He couldn't really understand why Mellie was so focused on him becoming president. Yes- he wanted it, but not if it meant his wife losing her sanity in the process.

"Because if not all of this has been for nothing." She mumbled under her breath. Maybe if she could convince herself that everything that had happened had been for a purpose- getting Fitz in the White House- then she might actually be able to live with herself.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Fitz asked.

She considered answering him for a moment, maybe things would be easier if he knew the truth? She quickly realised that it would just create more problems if Fitz knew the truth about what his father had done. Instead she allowed her eyes to slip closed, pretending to be asleep in the hope it might buy her a little time to work out what she was going to tell him.

There was a long silence, during which she started to think she'd got away with pretending to sleep, then Fitz broke the silence and she realised he wasn't going to just drop it. Then again, she couldn't really blame him. She would've been exactly the same had the situations been reversed.

"What did he do to you?" He asked quietly, watching her closely. "I know you're not asleep Mellie, and we aren't going anywhere until you tell me what happened."

"I don't know who you're talking about." She lied. She knew he was talking about his father. The question was how had he figured it out.

"Yes you do. You keep saying his name in your sleep, telling him to stop. So I want you to tell me what he did. Because I swear to god if he caused this I'll kill him."

Mellie turned to look at her husband, she could see he was furious, his hands clenched tightly around the arm rests of the chair. At that moment in time she was 100% sure that it hadn't been an empty threat. "It doesn't matter Fitz okay. It was nothing." She lied again in an attempt to calm him down.

"Don't lie to me!" Fitz snapped, making her flinch slightly. "You've been acting strange for weeks, I've seen the way you leave a room every time he comes in to it, the look of relief that crosses your face every time he has to go away." As he said the words out loud he suddenly felt terrible for not questioning her sooner. Maybe he could've stopped this from happening in the first place.

Mellie was quiet for a long time, staring intently at the wall to avoid looking at Fitz. "I tried so hard to fight him off." She whispered under her breath. "I screamed for help and you just didn't hear me... Then I don't know what happened. I just froze and he... He..." She couldn't force the actual words out of her mouth.

She snuck a quick glance at Fitz who had gone as white as a sheet, still gripping the chair tightly. This was the exact reason she hadn't told him- as hard as it might be for her to deal with what Jerry had done to her, she knew it would be more difficult for Fitz.

"Say something Fitz, please anything. I'm sorry." She added, watching him and waiting for some kind of response.

Suddenly, he seemed to snap out of what ever internal debate he was having and looked up at her, determination written on his face. "I'm going to kill him." He muttered under his breath so quietly she only just caught what he was saying.

"No Fitz! Please!" She protested as he stood from the chair and headed for the door. "Please don't do this!" Her words were lost as the door slammed behind him and he disappeared down the corridor.


	3. Chapter 3

It was bordering on three hours later that Fitz finally returned. Mellie breathed a quiet sigh of relief as he walked in, followed by a sharp intake of breath as she saw the state of him.

"What did you do?" She asked him quietly, shaking her head. This was exactly what she'd been trying to avoid.

"It's nothing." He said, sitting down on the edge of her bed.

Mellie frowned, taking in the graze on his cheek and his bruised buckles. "This is exactly why I didn't tell you." She said quietly, more to herself than Fitz.

"Are you serious?" He had to remind himself to keep his cool. What his father had done certainly wasn't Mellie's fault- if anyone could've done something to stop it then it was him.

"I knew you'd over react and end up lashing out. Please tell me you didn't kill him Fitz?" She sighed, relaxing back against the pillows.

"Over react?!" He stopped, forcing himself to calm down and Mellie cringed away from him. "He raped you Mellie! Killing him wouldn't be an over reaction at all!"

"Fitz!" She scolded him, tentatively reaching for his hand.

He hesitantly linked his fingers with her own, surprised by the gesture considering the fact she hadn't let him touch her in weeks. He cringed slightly, thinking about all the times he'd yelled at her for not letting him touch her, it all made so much sense now. How had he missed it?

"I didn't kill him." He said, realising she was still looking at him, waiting for an answer to her earlier question. "He's packing up his things right now. He won't be coming back."

"Fitz-" she stopped, tripping over her words. One one hand, destroying Fitz's relationship with his father was the exact thing she'd been trying to avoid- but on the other hand the thought of having to share a house with Jerry for another moment was what had caused her to sit and swallow those pills. "I'm sorry." She whispered under her breath.

Fitz hesitantly shuffled closer to her, watching carefully for any kind of reaction from his wife, as he put an arm around her shoulders. There was a brief hesitation, during which he was convinced she was going pull away from him, before she relaxed her head against his chest.

"Why are you apologising?" He asked eventually, gently stroking her hair. "You haven't done anything wrong."

There was another long silence as Mellie tried to work out how she could put what was going on in her head in to words that he might actually be able to understand. "I... I don't know... I should've fought him a bit harder, screamed a little louder... I just froze and let it happen. That's why I'm apologising."

Fitz took a deep breath to try to calm himself down, trying to remember exactly why it was that he shouldn't go back home and kill his father. "You've got nothing to apologise for Mels. Absolutely none of this is your fault. I just wish you'd told me. You shouldn't have had to deal with this on your own!"

There was another long silence when Mellie didn't answer him. She just laid there, her head resting against her husbands chest as he stroked her hair. It was a familiar, comforting, feeling- so familiar from the earlier days of their marriage- that made her wonder where things had gone so wrong that she'd felt like she had to keep this from him.

He was lying so still she'd begun to wonder if he'd fallen asleep, but she felt him tense when she spoke again. "Fitz, can we go home?"

He forced himself to breath so she wouldn't feel his entire body tense. How could he explain his hesitation to her? In the hospital he knew she was safe, that the doctors and nurses were keeping an eye on her. As long as she was in the hospital she couldn't try and hurt herself anymore. The idea of taking her home was terrifying. He'd missed the signs once before, what if he missed them again?

The image of her lying face down on the floor flashed through his mind again, making his stomach churn.

"It's okay, it doesn't have to be right now." She added quietly, squeezing his hand gently. She could understand his hesitation, finding her there must have been horrific for him, if she was honest she'd never really thought through what the impact of her actions might be on Fitz. She'd just been desperate for it to be over, to stop living through the nightmares and the constant fear every time she heard footsteps that it might be Jerry coming back again.

"Why don't you get some rest?" Fitz suggested. He felt her tense at the mention of getting some rest. He didn't even want to consider the kind of nightmares that she might've been having, he'd vaguely noticed she was always awake long before him and that she'd been incredibly restless at night, but now all the pieces of the puzzle slotted together everything made so much more sense.

"You're not going to leave are you?" She asked worriedly her hand clenching tightly around his own without her even realising.

"I'm not going anywhere, I promise." He squeezed her hand tightly as she released her vice like grip on his. "I'll be right here, just close your eyes and try to get some rest. We can talk to the doctor about going home after that okay?"

"Okay." She agreed quietly, forcing herself to close her eyes in an attempt to get some rest as Fitz had suggested in the vague hope that things might seem a tiny bit better once she woke up.


End file.
